On October 21, 2010,
the first eBook edition of Notes from
Nadir was published on Kindle. Written as a series of blogs, Notes from Nadir made its online debut
on March 3, 2010. My blog gradually began to attract readers. They seemed
interested in reading the forthcoming novel that Notes from Nadir would later become.
Last year I published
the second edition of “Notes” and even with a book tour, sales and reviews
weren’t happening. The problem may be the title – nadir isn’t a common word. So,
if you’re curious, and haven’t already gone to Dictionary.com to check it out,
here’s the official description along with a hint about what Notes from Nadir is all about.
If noon is zenith then nadir is 6:30. And it was 6:29 and
counting down. Way down. Merriam-Webster defines it as: "The lowest
point." Nadir – it was the place where I was inevitably going. Lots of
stuff got me headed in that downward direction. Decisions made too late. Unmade
calls. Calls made that weren't answered. Missed connections. Being at the right
place at the wrong time. Excuses. I was caught in the web of my own cause and
effect and the resulting karma was ripening. Ripening of karma meant that
payment was due pronto. And who paid for my own karma? Me. No checks accepted.
No credit cards. And there sure as heck weren't any I.O.U's.
Only one place left to go. Back east. Back to a place I no
longer called home. Back to a mom I hadn't lived with or seen in many years.
She had a new house in a quiet semi-retirement community. She had a spare room.
Two-car garage. Free internet. And a few conditions…
Chapter 5 – Arriving in Nadir
In the morning, I awoke before sunup, knowing that it was my
last day on the road. I didn't want to hang around a motel room when I still
had a few hundred miles to go. Soon I'd cross the Mississippi River and be in
another state. I'd see things that hadn't been seen in years: Hardee's, Sunoco,
Steak 'n Shake, and White Castle.
Driving into the rising sun. Crossing into a state that had
a top speed of 65. I saw more snow. When I was partially through the state, I
stopped and got gas. It was definitely colder and I stepped over some snow to
get to the pump. Being almost "home" was starting to suck.
The end stretch of the 2,000-mile journey led through
flatlands and farmlands with intermittent groves of trees to eradicate the
geographical monotony. How dull and colorless compared to the dramatic scenery
of Arizona and New Mexico. Those miles rolled by as I reluctantly headed east
to a "home" I had never seen since Mom moved to her one-story
dwelling eight years ago.
The miles vanished. My arrival was imminent. I glanced at
traffic heading west and recalled how it was when I was driving in that
direction—full of hope. Now, I was full of despair, full of failure. Each mile
led me closer to the "cornfield with lights" as my father, who had
escaped before me, referred to it.
I changed to a smaller two-lane road that would lead me to
within a mile of Mom's new house. I had long ago memorized her address and
she'd told me which streets to take and how easy it was to find. The new
subdivision was called Hampton Lake and it was for older people. She'd sent me
some pictures of her house and it was as generic as any modern one-story frame
house with neutral colors and a few windows offset by some shrubbery and trees.
Passed a place where I used to work and saw it had been replaced with a mart
type store. Couldn't help noticing the traffic signals were the old fashioned
kind that were strung on wires rather than posts that extended across the
intersection like they did in L.A.
I took a wrong turn and had to go another mile in some
suburban/country area before I found the right street. I drove slower than
normal until I saw the large wooden Hampton Lake sign. Next to it was an
American flag. As I drove to the end of the cul de sac I had reached the End
Point of my journey.
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